FULLFILLED

Today she felt the HAPPIEST..a final closure...departing from some hokas pokas dream...FULLFILLED because a friend finally seemed HAPPY and THANKED her..and that somehow made so much more sense that anything else...FULLFILLED  because what she thought was there....in reality was never there...and finally it didn't matter that it wasn't there at all...Friendships begin..and like everything else the beginings are always great..full of excitement...the smell of new desires....the curious mind...the fantasies..the never ending stories...the flirting..the blushing...the dreams...but the ending somehow seemed just as pleasant...such a feeling of freedom...such final moment of maturity...a kind of a friendship that turns into a more satisfying friendship...and finally life seems GRAND once more...and for life goes on...and for friendhips florish once more...for the right reasons...and that nothing CAN or SHOULD bring anyone down...NOTHING is ever that BAD....NOTHING....

THE NO-FRILL BEAR

The year was 1980...barely 20...was she..at the  London school hallway is when she heard him giggle with his friends.."Sophia"  is what he called her..he didn't know her name..he said she looked like a Sophia..This boy, so tall, so dark, so handsome...he took her  breath away..and she thought he couldn't be for real...It was that very same year..this man from heaven fell in love with her..with his love and poems..he intoxicated her..before she knew it...she had fallen for him..But she only had one thing in mind...when was she ever gonna get to the land of opportunity...where she'd marry a man of desire..a man of position ..a man who would take care of  her ..like her mama told her...The final day came when she arrived to this land of misery...the land that had eveything written on it's face but love and glory..He followed her...tried to make it easy and smooth for her..told her that love was all that mattered..He begged her to stay..but little did he know that there was a strong current going against him...they pulled her away from him."No",...mama said.."He is not gonna be here for you for ever...these things don't last for ever...you stay here with us...you marry this man within us"...so she did..and the boy gave her the "NO-FRILL BEAR"..before he went back..heartbroken....She could never figure out what that ever so plain Bear  was suppose to mean......Years went by..and she found the NO-FRILL BEAR in her box of old treasues...It was then when she realized the meaning that lied so deep within that ever so plain NO-FRILL BEAR............

Who Gave After All

So here we are....years later...all grown up...did it all...had it all...said it all...felt it all...broke it all...did the good girl thing..did the good wife thing...did the good mom thing...did the good person thing...did the good daughter thing..what did we do it all for..did anyone care...did anyone count..did anyone share..did anyone feel...Did anyone At all...At the end...no one counted the trophies...all of that jazz didn't even last in memories...What for...Who for...What were we competeing for...What were we doing it for...What did we prove...What did they want...Who is better than who....Why did it matter...Why did we do it..Why do we compete...bigger homes....better cars...better everything...Why were we surrounded by all these fakers...all these haters..all these slaters...all these useless worthless shallow creators...papa never thought  us that...mama never said that...who made us do it...who made us feel so like nothing..so like nothing...that. we felt we had to do it...do it all ....be the best...or be nothing....who made us feel so low...who made us feel shallow...who made us feel hollow...Who gave after all...Who cared after all...No one..No one at all...............................

Papa

My papa was one, when his father passed away.  Back then men went to desert and worked for days, and the gusty desert winds would suffocate the workers occasionally.  That's how my granpa died, leaving behind a wife and eight children.  My papa was the youngest of all, brought up an orphan, since his mom being so overwhelmed with family chores and kids, left younger ones to the older ones to survive.  Papa went on without eating for days at times and slept on the kitchen floor at the place he worked for food.  He never told me the sotry, too hard for him to remember those bitter days.  So, my papa grew up and married the most beautiful girl on earth, he told me that.  He loved her and loved us.  We never had much money, but when papa came home, he took us for ice-cream and on hot summer days to "Fanfar", Shemran and I foget the names....
Papa gave us love and in my whole entire life don't remember him ever being mad at us....My papa is the most special man on earth, though not perfect, but he did what he could for us.  And I always say, the best thing a father could do for his children is to love their mother.

Broken Dreams

Like the old folks back home used to say, "Salee ke nekoost az baharash paydast"  One always wonders, if she could look back and do it again, would she do the same.  She  married with great excitement, like every young girl with hopes and dreams.   But she knew deep down that nothing seemed right, from the very moment she met him.  little quarels, little annoying habits that her young heart refused to see and aknowledge, eventually became major problems, and as time went by the quarels and fights became bigger and more bitter, they eventually stopped  and  silence becomes her best friend.  An increadible Silence, as heavy as the biggest mountain, sat  in her  living room and at the dinner table..  The only conversation going back and forth became  the one that included  tournmenting  one another.  Her only hope to make sure her children didn't see or hear those ever so misreable quarrels.  Years went by and silence was replaced by exhaustion.  Yet no one could see or would hear of it, because she seemed so content and was given such pampered life, every woman dreamt of. Folks, chattered, "Why does she complain so much, she has everything".  Does one measure happiness with possessing things, or was she so blind she couldn't see how Good she had it.  Yet day after day, only one thing stayed in  her mind, "Broken Dreams", and How to end "Broken Dreams".

They'll never mix....Nothing will ever fix

Somethings in life never change.  If a thousand yrs goes by...Rich will be Rich..snub will be snub...She was 15 when she went to this party..and the most amazing looking guy asked her to dance with him...the moment was so magical...chemistry was there...in a young girls mind..never kissed before...that was the magical  moment to stay with  her in her mind for ever...she Fell so madly in love with him..They met for the next few months...and every time her love for him blossomed more...but .he.was from this well to do family...the type that only go for the very best....In his mind she was not from the same class..so he fell in love with some other woman..much to fit his family traditions...and  his Glory...The girl grew up....took 20 years to forget the love she felt at that young age..met another guy from same category...he loved her...but didn't know she wasn't from the same class...She was so afraid to reveal the truth...cause she knew his love for her would end just as it did with the other one..so she decided to end it all...leaving all feelings behined...now he'll never know the real reason...So, if a thousand years go by and a thousand words are said in a thousand different ways....some things will never change...Rich will be  Rich...poor will be poor...they'll never mix....nothing will ever fix......

New Beginning

Today is going to be the New Beginning of my life.....